Eating Your Content – Burger Barn (Ohsweken)
I’m not sure when it happened but I do believe Burgers (ideally 10 ounces cooked Medium) have become my new favourite food. You know how people ask “if you could have one food forever what would it be?” For years I’d instantly fire back “Lasagna.” Nowadays I reply “Burger” without a second thought. I assume it’s because the quality bar has been raised with so many places doing “gourmet burgers.” Chucks is my go to when I’m in Hamilton (10 minute walk away from my apartment is obviously meant to kill me slowly) but on this night I went with Marie‘s recommendation and we headed out to Ohsweken (I’m going to need a search party to find me at this rate) to try out Burger Barn. We were joined for the first time by the lovely Steph. Hopefully she comes out again soon (she talks UFC, I’m sold on her as a new friend).
We arrived for 7 and the place was pretty much full (pic was taken literally at 9pm closing). We were seated at a booth and I’m just going to touch on something quick. I am a very large man. You know what sucks about booths? Getting owned by the table because of lack of seating space. Thank the good Lord Burger Barn has large booths.
I’m off alcohol for the next 4 months so my typical beer default was out the window. Burger Barn has a variety of “specialty pops” for order. I don’t do Root Beer or anything in that family so I went with this Orange Cream. I described it as “if an orange freezie and a white freezie got married this is what they’d make.” It was really sweet but not so much I didn’t like it. I’m big on the aforementioned freezies so this was a fun drink over the course of the meal.
Given the opportunity, I will always get Deep Fried Pickles at a restaurant I’ve never been to. I still contend the Tempura Fried Pickles at The Augusta House (LOL when I went to link their site Google said it hosts Malware and to go at my own risk. WTF!) are my favourite but these are right behind. Steph split these with me. The batter was light and crispy. The pickles were thick but not so much you couldn’t bite in without taking the whole damn thing with you (you know what I’m talking about). The jury was out on the dipping sauce. Steph figured Ranch. Marie figured Caesar. I wasn’t sure. The server said Ranch but honestly this is the most tame Ranch I’ve ever had in my life. I typically avoid it as I find it overpowering. In any case, I loved the pickles, sauce and all.
Luau Burger – #13.50
Marie had her sights set on this for a couple of days. I’m not one for sweet in my dinner but she said this burger was amazing. It comes with Monterey Jack Cheese, Grilled Pineapple and Shaved Ham. I was a little surprised to see Banana Peppers thrown in the mix. I assume it evens out the sweet from the Pinapple and Ham. Marie had to have said “I love this burger” 6 or 7 times over the course of dinner. If that’s not a ringing endorsement I don’t know what is.
Chicken Fingers – $9 + $1 for tossing in Honey Garlic
I dropped the ball. I didn’t find out how much the poutine upgrade was. I’m going to assume $3 and it’s not listed anywhere on the web site so I can’t be sure. It should be noted that I’ve never seen Poutine with Medium Cheddar Curds before. That threw me for a loop. It was really tasty (I got it as well) but I’ll be honest in saying I prefer the plain jane Cheddar Curds (with a little squeak in the bite). Steph enjoyed the Fingers but didn’t say much else on it. It’s pretty hard to botch Chicken Fingers though.
Bread & Cheese Burger – $14.50
This is one of those things that I only see at the CNE. I always want to try but never get around to it. When the plate came out, my eyes kind of bugged out of my head. I really didn’t know what to expect. Once compiled, it was a BEAST! The first bite stiffened my jaw up. The crust adds not just height but too much volume to the burger. I was a bit turned off on first bite. If anyone gets this burger, ask them to cut the crust off. You’ll have a far better eating experience. When I got into the middle of the burger it was beyond fantastic. All that butter, cheese and a Medium Well (would’ve liked Medium) burger came together into an amazing experience. The only thing it was missing was Bacon grilled into the Grilled Cheese (go Gluttony or go home). It took some work to get through. Marie was shocked I took down the entire plate of food. BODIED!
The Milky Way – $6.50
I literally burst laughing when this was put in front of us. This picture doesn’t do nearly the justice for the sheer size of this slice of cake. It’s made with Milk Chocolate, Caramel and Chocolate Chips. Despite it’s many layers, it was not dense at all. This was extraordinarily light. At no point did I feel it was over sweet or too rich either. We all split this and still couldn’t finish. The outer rim was a wall of chocolate chips and caramel. Far too much for us to handle after such a large meal.
I’ve got nothing but praise for Burger Barn. Our server was on the ball. The price point vs portions is straight value town. All of the food was delicious. There were minor gripes but not so much we didn’t thoroughly enjoy the experience. If you’re big on burgers, make your way out to Burger Barn.