Chew On This: Don’t Be A Twitter Creep

As many people know, I have an issue with people who ask “who’s going” when I’m planning an event. My philosophy has always been that if you plan an event with friends, it shouldn’t matter who is attending whether it’s 2 or 200. However, like anything in life, there are exceptions to the rule. Over the last couple of months, I’ve come to realize there is a very big issue when it comes to Twitter and “Who’s going?” That issue is with the Twitter Creep.

About a month ago I was at dinner with a group of friends. I met all of the people at dinner through Twitter. Over the course of dinner, we were discussing an upcoming event and how many people were attending. One of my friends, while upbeat on the idea of the event, was adamant in not attending. I found it baffling to have such a stark conflict in emotions over the same event. When I started to delve deeper into the issue, it was brought to light that my friend (female) was uncomfortable with the idea of attending because another person (male) would be in attendance. It speaks volumes when a woman is unwilling to go somewhere because she doesn’t want to come across a man. We’ve all been in the spot where you don’t want to come across an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Typically it’s a game of chicken to see who’s going to the same event or you both show up and just ignore each other. However, when two parties have never dated and one of them is THAT uncomfortable, giant red lights with alarms should go off.

Enter The Twitter Creep

As I’ve met more and more women, the Twitter Creep archetype becomes clear.

- Primarily follows (how appropriate is that word now?) women instead of a balance on Twitter.

- DM is their primary tool over public Tweets.

- Constantly getting in on other people’s conversations if the girl they’re creeping on is in the midst of it.

- “Happens to be in the neighborhood” within a few minutes of a girl checking  into a location.

- Corners women if they come across them in an open event/tweetup.

One day I’ll do a blog on the art of rescuing girls from the creeper at a party. I’ve done that more times than I can count now.

One of my steadfast rules when using Twitter is that my persona online should be that of my persona offline. As I like to say, people need more etiquette in their netiquette. If you come across someone in person, strike up a conversation and get the feeling they’re not interested, THEY’RE NOT! Something shouldn’t go off in your mind thinking “well she blew me off, CAN’T WAIT to talk to her tomorrow.” People give off very strong tells if/when they’re not interested. Everyone; both men and women should learn to pick up on tells. People’s bodies will give off far stronger signals than their mouths will ever dictate. In fact, most people in a social setting will use their words only as a last resort. People don’t like confrontation. As a result, they’d rather be uncomfortable than be confrontational.

Yeah well… fuck that.

Nobody should have to live their lives looking over their shoulder after a check in. Nobody should have to worry about going to a party because “he’ll be there.” Nobody should have to get unwarranted and/or unwanted messages to save some random scrub’s feelings. It drives me batshit crazy that so many of my friends go through this bullshit on a DAILY BASIS! I tell people all the time, just be direct. If you’re not interested in being friends, tell him/her. Put that shit on ice NOW!

“Well he’ll think I’m a bitch.”

GOOD!

You know what’s better than being considered a bitch?

LIVING YOUR LIFE!

Guys; if you’re reading this and you think you’ve met any of the criteria I’ve laid out? JUST FUCKING STOP IT! Don’t be a Tweet Creep. Every last one of you is better than that. Twitter isn’t your personal dating site or your practical test for Harassment 101. I get that we all want to meet a great girl and the Internet is another means to do so but fuck man see the writing on the wall and make changes. Google “signs she’d rather stab herself in the eyes than read your tweets” and follow whatever instructions come up on changes. There’s a difference between “playing hard to get” and “she hopes you get hit by a bus.”

I hope this has been helpful for everyone reading. If you’ve got beef with my words, you’re more than welcome to tell me. I’d love to debate how harassing women can be rationalized in your mind and by debate I mean I’m going to yell at you.

A lot.

Creeper.

14 thoughts on “Chew On This: Don’t Be A Twitter Creep

    • Comments like this are exactly why I’ve always been a fan of Anant’s. Justin, great blog! I couldn’t agree more, and have actually found that this occurs (quite sadly) in a professional sense WAY to often. If you need material for a business version of the twitter-creep, let me know! :)

  1. I remember coming across this a while ago, then when I was alerted to it and watched it in action with multiple people.
    The block button helps, be less concerned with your number of followers and cut the person out of things.
    This also ties into another peeve I’ve seen (just because it’s so insanely obvious) the “drunk” tweet/text.
    Step 1: misspell words late at night. Of course this is fail #1 as well given that it’s obvious you’re doing it on purpose cause any smart phone that can tweet, could correct those words.
    Step 2: when she’s offended, pretend you don’t remember a thing. Fail #2, if you were that drunk, you probably couldn’t tweet, and lets be honest, blackout drunk never happens, it’s just a good excuse.

    There’s a noteworthy blogger/SM person who “accidentally” sent a message that what was “supposed to go to his girlfriend” and then told the world on twitter that he made this mistake (to drum up support). The more elaborate your story and the less embarrassed you are, the more likely hood you’re full of crap. That’s creeper 101.

    If she’s not interested, get over it. Go get an e-harmony account. If you think twitter is a place for a quick pick up, ask yourself if it’s worked so far… turn off your computer, figure yourself out first, then, like you said, be yourself, if something’s going to happen, it’ll happen.

    • I’ve tweeted drunk. Trust me, it can be very much legit. I think a lot of it (at least with me) is that I use a lot of slang that autocorrect doesn’t account for. The tweets used to be a colossal mess and almost indecipherable when looked at in the morning.

  2. Pretty much the most epic blog post I’ve read in a long time. You’ve nailed it Mr. J Money. You and I both know I’m likely the one who can be directly quoted in “well he’ll think I’m a bitch” ahaha so thank you for enlightening the world.

    P.S. “Google ‘signs she’d rather stab herself in the eyes than read your tweets’ and follow whatever instructions come up on changes.” made me Laugh Out Loud for real.

    LOVE THIS.

  3. Pingback: Tweeting Ladies: Go On Offense « Jmoney Rambles

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